“Problem”

First up was 'Not My Problem', a catchy thrashy R&B one-off from the ultra-viral teenager (and daughter of Mos Def) Laila!, which turns the title into a mantra. “Niggas talkin' shit/Bitches talkin' shit/It's not my problem,” she sings, warm but sassy, drawing from '90s teen wonders like Brandy and Aaliyah. Great song. The track was then remixed in a clip by New York man of the moment Cash Cobain, weaving her vocals into a predictably horndog “sexy drill” anthem. Each bar follows a basic formula: Flirty line, followed by a cut sample of Laila! singing “Not My Problem”. It's hilarious. Even more great song. Now, after weeks of way too many rappers and girls uploading their own versions of Cash's remix, the official version is here, also with way too many rappers and fans. In fact, 14 more in the space of almost eight minutes. This can be a problem.

I understand what Cash is getting at by bringing over megamixes of the past like Busta Rhymes' “Touch It” streak or The Game's random blast of “One Blood” or even DJ Kay Slay's “Rollin 25 Deep.” He's trying to close out his summer soundtrack in the city (a few weeks ago, I was listening to Power 105.1 and they did a 25-minute mix of strictly cash production songs) with a #moment. But the novelty of the remix wears off before you even finish the song. The formula got stale quickly and none of the new verses are as cool and fun as Cash's opener. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever had to listen to half of these rappers on one of Cash's midnight club beats. (Also no Nav, who has been unofficially adopted into the scene, is a sin.) This requires ranking:

It's like watching Ice Cube's Big3 basketball league (the NBA's unofficial retirement track).

He's just lucky Fab is here to lift him up.

I appreciate Cash trying to keep things local, but someone needs to take Don's melatonin off.

12. Rob49

Who the hell wants to listen to Rob49 at half speed? A good verse Rob49 sounds like he'll need a Liquid IV once he's finished.

Teenagers should be excluded from the Cash Cobain universe (Laila! doesn't count, it's a sample).

She spends too much time karaoke-ing Laila!'s original.

9. Kalii

He forgot it was even there.

Too much of a lover for this world, save it for a Mariah the Scientist album.

7. Chow Li

Too much PG-13 coming from the other half 2 Slizzy 2 Sexy twin. It sounds best when he and Cash are in a horrible situation.

It's worth it for the little high note he hits when he says “I might do a threesome with two women because niggas (problem).”

She doesn't actually come with bars, but her smoky voice gives the song a much-needed swagger. (Side note: Where's the Karrahbooo verse? She was the only rapper who had the guts to ignore the formula.)

So many stops filled in less than 30 seconds.

Cash Cobain calls himself the “hottest rapper alive” in his verse, but that title might actually belong to Queens' Flee, who's here begging for period sex and whispering about his hotness.

Everyone else takes this way too seriously. Fortunately, YN Jay's flurry of sound effects and ad-libs (an ugly whirring noise, obligatory sing-alongs of “Hol' on” and “It's the Coochie Man”) lift the spirits.